One of the biggest and most rewarding steps an adult can take is starting a relationship. The challenge in this endeavor lies in not only choosing the right partner, but also using the right tactics to keep the relationship healthy and thriving. There are plenty of different ways to find your partner now a day including websites where singles chat, organizations, or if you can, meeting someone new at bookstore or coffee shop.
Expectations are very important in any relation to another person. Romantic relationships in particular often fail because one or both parties bring unreasonably high or low expectations to the table. One person may be too focused on what the other can provide or may make the partner the center of the universe. This puts undue pressure on one party to be everything to the other and is a recipe for failure.
Conversely, one person may assume that because the last partner cheated or lied, or otherwise engaged in negative behaviors, that the new person will do the same. Having low expectations is just as damaging as having high ones.
A healthy relationship will have expectations that are within reason. Each party should accept the other for who they are and just simply enjoy each other’s company in friendship. Friendship is the basis for romance.
Communication is of utmost importance in a relationship. It involves not only talking but actively listening, as well. Good communication means learning about the other person while simultaneously teaching them about oneself.
Issues in communication arise when one or both parties lack listening skills or refuse to talk when the relationship hits a rough patch. Also, if one person requires constant contact, it can make the other person feel smothered. Being able to communicate well is a hallmark of honesty and if this factor does not exist, the relationship will not work.
Positive, open communication will build a strong foundation on which the relationship can grow.
There needs to be flexibility by both parties when they partner up. A fear of change can stifle growth and lead to a quick ending. People are individuals that are constantly evolving and changing, whether in a relationship or out of one. As individuals, people can and often do behave in ways that go outside the expectations of the partner.
It is normal to feel tension and apprehension through life’s big shifts, such as moving, having a child or starting a new job. All big events cause change and growth, and when or both parties are not flexible enough to allow for it, it can can spell disaster for the relationship.
Being open to and encouraging positive change in a partner is one of the healthiest approaches to a partnership and to life itself. It brings a feeling of acceptance and is one of the finest gifts one person can give another. It is also the glue that keeps people together.
Starting a healthy relationship may require changing patterns of thought and behavior that are inflexible and negative. Each party should think about the possible impact on the other person and adjust accordingly. The best relationships start as solid friendships, with open communication, active listening and embrace of growth.